Previously on Wynonna Earp:
-The hottest BroTThree that anyone needs- Wynonna, Nicole and Rachel Valdez!
-Eve is a huge dick and can shapeshift and also tastes like Brimstone.
-Wynonna, Doc and Waverly leave the garden but things aren’t the way they left them in Purgatory.
-STAIRS! Also 18 months, three weeks and four days…OUCH!
And away we go!
We open with where we left off last week, with people hanging in scaffolding with bags over their heads. Some of them don’t have shoes on, which is a weird fashion choice for Purgatory in the Winter. Did they not care about frostbite? Did they fall off? Or were they stolen and now some Purgatorian is walking around with a dead man’s shoes on? Also, some kids are playing hockey in front of hanging people. This must be the new normal then. Wynonna and Doc decide to go and get some of Wynonna’s favourite thinking juice in Shorty’s, but nope, this bar is dry AF! It has been turned into a juice bar which serves cocktails like ‘I Walk the Lime’ and ‘Cock Holliday’ – which isn’t really a cocktail and is just chicken soup which is probably not for the soul – and seems to have had a hipster explosion take over the surfaces and the walls, but everything that made it Shorty’s is still there, like the slot machines and Wynonna’s birthing pool table. Some things are just too good to get rid of.
Cue one of our favourite characters that we have not seen since season one brandishing an eggplant as a weapon – Chrissy Nedley – who places Wynonna under a citizens arrest for the murder of one Randall ‘Randy’ Nedley. I mean, WHUT!
It would seem that a Citizens Arrest leads straight to the Gallows via the back of a pickup truck and the scaffolding in the centre of town. Doc almost makes a one-man standoff when Sheriff Not Haught appears (Hi Ty Olsen! Welcome to the fam!) and decides that a one-way ticket to the noose is not in Wynonna’s future, and instead arrests her the good old fashioned way and will have her day in court. ‘Going quietly’ is not a phrase that Wynonna seems to be aware of and she sends Doc off to bring Waverly and Nicole.
Back at the Homestead, now named ‘Chez Valdez’, Waverly is in a really good mood after her frolic on the stairs, and why the hell wouldn’t she be? The stairs were the perfect place for her reunion with Nicole. Well, Rachel doesn’t seem to mind anyway as she offers Waverly some homemade Kombucha to hydrate. Remember that the walls in the Homestead are thin? Well, she heard everything! Before Waverly can find out anything more, a bell rings to let them know that they have caught something in one of their traps, the one out by the Barn. Rachel and Nicole rush out with guns whereas Waverly grabs the now infamous ‘Earp Spoon’. A great weapon of choice if the monster is one of those Monster Milkshakes, but I somehow don’t think it is one of those.
We get a quick look at the exterior of the Homestead, which has Sandbag wall, wood which has cut-outs perfect for shooting out of on top of the fences on the porch, and there is now a mysterious shipping container with a lookout on top in the back yard. Nicole has been busy with her renovations of the Homestead!
As I said, it was a quick look with the three running towards the trap only to see a groaning Doc Holliday with a bear trap, well trapped near his nads. Definitely wince-worthy! Nicole makes quick work of removing its vice grip before the group learn that Wynonna had been framed for Nedley’s murder.
In a never before released scene of ‘Orange is the new Black Leather Jacket’, Wynonna is dragged into the old BBD headquarters in the station and is placed in the glass box used to previously imprison Widow Mercedes and Bobo Del Rey. It already has an occupant though (say hello to Andrew Phung!), a half-demon named Casey who Wynonna uses to catch her up on all the happenings in Purgatory in the last 18 months (3 weeks and 4 days). With no heir around, the demons all came to Purgatory to party. Also, Wynonna’s number on her jumpsuit is 6968 (from what I can see) and wow does it look good on her!
In the kitchen, Nicole is busy making tea for her fiancee and is updating us on the rest of the Scooby Gang. Nedley disappeared after the evacuation, Mercedes is ‘getting by’, Jeremy is still alive but doing no idea what, and we don’t hear what has happened to Robin. If something has happened to Jetri…Anyway, Waverly and Doc bond over their love of the Property Brothers, which is understandable! I too enjoy watching some Property Brothers (but it is mostly for ideas for houses in The Sims but that’s a whole other show). Waverly comments that if they had been there and lived the last 18 months, and I think she was going to go on to say it would be easier to understand the crazy changes, but Nicole who has seen WAY TOO MUCH, says that nothing was easy. Nicole is dealing with some serious PTSD and is not the Nicole we left facing zombies in the last episode. She is, in the words of Kat Barrell, ‘emotionally damaged’ and it is clear to see why. She has been fighting the monsters with Rachel as her only back up for months, trying to keep the two of them alive as well as the Homestead safe. She wasn’t exactly sitting around knitting and waiting for her love to come back from the war. Nicole had to fight hard, and she is a different person than the one we have all come to love. (I have way more to say and may do an article solely on this but not today!)
Nicole keeps apologising for everything, like the lack of almond milk, and refuses to see herself as the hero she really is. Whether that’s because she had help or the fact that her best friend still isn’t home, well it is probably due to both as well as a whole load of other unresolved trauma. There is work to be done though, they need to see Wynonna and Doc has his mission to find Nedley by way of Mercedes. He figures his car will make the job easier, and it seems that Charlene has made it through the war. At least he has his horse(power) to help him through the task!
Making his way to the new joint in town, Doc makes his grand entrance by punching out one of the bouncers. It is time for a Holliday indeed Doc! The owner of the new joint, The Glory Hole, makes himself known by reading off the first line of Doc’s Wikipedia. With his skinny scarf over a suit jacket with no shirt on, Amon brings all his powers of seduction and uses them against Doc before the woman of the hour appears. Mercedes Gardner, or should I say Portia Control, takes to the stage in a blue latex dress with a whip and collar and a whip. Dani Fucking Kind! Need I say more?
Nicole took her job protecting the Homestead very seriously as she even organised all of Waverly’s clothes and placed them into dress bags. I am taking this to mean that she wanted to protect them from moths and not that she missed Waverly so much that she wanted her smell to stay around longer and put all her clothes in bags so that if he had an extremely tough day, she could open one and be home again. Sorry not sorry for this. I just have a lot of Nicole Haught feels this episode! Away from my brain and back to the episode. Nicole declares that she missed Waverly only to be interrupted by Rachel attempting and failing to milk a skunk and Nicole rushing out to save her from smelling like one of the traps.
It is bonding time in the box with Wynonna and Casey who is filling Wynonna in on even more of what has happened. Turns out that the town is under quarantine with demons stuck in and humans allowed out. And definitely no criminals are allowed out. Want to see Wynonna go on a Wynonna rant? Well, she does with the camera getting increasing closer with every move in the rant until Sheriff Not Haught informs her that she has a visitor in the form of Waverly in a Lawyer Cosplay with her Scotland Yard glasses on. Wynonna though is transfixed on the time jump and realises she hasn’t had a shit since before the garden. Thank you, Noelle Carbone, for that joke!
The towns new Magistrate decides to join in on the fun and is like the one person in Purgatory who does not know who Wynonna is. Sheriff Not Haught goes off to discuss Wynonna’s case privately her while Wynonna and Waverly are left to discuss their bulletproof plan to prove that Wynonna is not guilty of Nedley’s murder, a plan which rests on Doc at the moment who is too busy watching Portia Control at the Glory Hole.
Mercedes finishes her show and instantly goes to the smelling of skunk hiney Doc. The two move over to a table to discuss that Mercedes is a non-demon working in a demon bar posing as a Vampire Stripper. Sounds totally normal right? Back on the mission and his line of questioning, Doc learns that Mercedes did try to save Nedley, but he ran off into the woods where all the monsters are after a few days of Nedley oozing and smelling like teenage boys cheese feet. Very specific, right? Well, Mercedes cannot say where Nedley is now, and will not go and attest to the fact that he was alive after Wynonna left, but she can say where the people-eater is. Totally not an ominous name at all!
Back at the cop shop, Miss Magistrate would like to announce that with the current overpopulation of the town’s jail, she is hosting the Randy Nedley Memorial Chilli Cook-Off FOR FREEDOM! I do appreciate that she is using a megaphone indoors for her announcement, she is just so extra and it is amazing! Does anyone remember the debacle of a meal that Wynonna made for Doc…the KD with hotdog pieces and a side of Twizzlers? That was gourmet for her so yeah, she is screwed!
The Chilli Cook-off, held in Shorty’s Juice Bar, somehow has its own sign with a cock shaped logo already prepared. How long has the Magistrate been planning this one? Since 2005? The Magistrate seems to like her contests…FOR FREEDOM! As every month she comes up with some new one which is even worse than the last to keep everyone distracted from the other crazy shit she is getting up to around the town, like hanging people in the middle of the town on some scaffolding maybe? Waverly comes to save Wynonna with a basket of veggies and our favourite Crazy Ginger Bitch with a Gun, the real sheriff of Purgatory, Nicole Rayleigh Haught. The two best friends are finally getting to see each other after 18 months, three weeks and four days and the hug that they share is truly enough to get us through anything, even the Chilli cook-off…FOR FREEDOM! Panicking, Wynonna chucks a whole block of mouldy cheese into her pot before she can be helped by Nicole and Waverly. Earp knows she needs it!
On the trail of the people-eater, Doc follows some footprints in the snow until he finds an abandoned truck covered in blood that we saw earlier in the episode when the people-eater clawed through the roof to get the driver. What was the driver delivering? Well, the back is filled with boxes of alcohol, a welcome sight for Doc after finding out Purgatory is pretty much a dry town. Before he can investigate his haul any further, a Sasquatch-like figure appears in the show following him.
The chilli cook-off (for freedom) is in full swing with t-shirt cannons and all! The magistrate really has been preparing for this one for a while. Wynonna and Nicole are busy trying to cut onions with plastic knives for Chef Waverly’s masterpiece of a Vegan Seitan Chilli. Let’s just say that I have been a part of a Chilli cook-off before (not for freedom though) and I can confirm that a vegan chilli did not win. Hell, I didn’t even win and I used a whole bar of Dark Chocolate in mine! If that can’t win, Waverly’s will not get Wynonna the ‘get out of jail free card’ that she needs. Wynonna and Nicole think so as well with the Seitan going everywhere bar in the chilli. Enter Sheriff Not Haught (who is apparently called Sheriff Clayborn but I will stick with Sheriff Not Haught) and he makes Nicole feel like shit for leaving the Homestead with Rachel in charge and going into town to help save her best friend, which HOW DARE YOU, SIR! No-one makes Nicole Rayleigh Haught feel like that, especially after what she has been through! Waverly is the 100% understanding fiancee though and suggests that Nicole goes home to look after Rachel. Nicole goes off back home which leaves Wynonna an opening to steal some bacon from Casey and throw it in the chilli.
Let us just take a quick pause here again. I’m not sorry for these pauses, my mind goes off when I watch this show and does it more often when paired with my own brand of thinking juice…cold brew. Waverly tells Nicole to go home. Home, therefore, is not the house we have seen before, the one where Calamity Jane sat on top of Bunny Loblaw and where Widow Mercedes bit Nicole. Home is now the place she has fought to keep safe for her family. Nicole moved out there and she has made it kind of her own, what with the Earp Spoon saying ‘God Bless this Hot Mess’, which was probably a gift from Rachel one year for Christmas to try and make Nicole laugh. I told you, I have feelings about Nicole this season and in this episode!
Doc is still in the truck ready to fight off the people-eater, and after Doc looks into his eyes, he puts away his gun, grabs a bottle of booze and runs off. Nicole makes it back to the Homestead in record time to find a limping and banged up Rachel, who was off resetting traps with Kombucha before Doc and the people-eater showed up. Nicole, switching from Daddy mode to Mommy mode makes Rachel go inside to safety.
Wynonna’s chilli is edible (to her anyway) and it is up to the Masterchef judges to decide the winner, well Masterchef Judge, in the form of one Miss Kidney Bean, Chrissy Nedley! She has a sash and a tiara and everything! Yeah, Wynonna is truly fucked now.
Doc and the people-eater have made their way to the Homestead with Doc battering on the windows trying to get in, but Nicole has frozen, zoned out, unable to do anything. This is not the Nicole of before (in case you had any doubts of that at all in your mind.) Rachel though apparently likes to pull a Carmilla Karnstein and wear her boots in bed, but it works in her favour this time as she needs to quickly snap Nicole out of her daze and run to the door to let Doc in. Nicole, the best shot in Purgatory, manages to get the people-eater through a boarded up door with a shotgun. GOAT! Taking a quick break, Doc explains his realisation that the people-eater is a host for something else and they decide to take the fight to him now that he is wounded.
And the results are in! The winner of the Randy Nedley Memorial Chilli Cook-off…FOR FREEDOM! Is…Wynonna Earp! With Wynonna’s cooking skills as they are, did anyone see that coming? I thought she was going to have to spring a jailbreak or something. Winning is not all that it seems as Wynonna is strong-armed out of Shorty’s by the Magistrates guards. Maybe freedom isn’t the prize it seems to be? Sure, Wynonna is told she’ll get freedom, but not until she gets to the border. So she is being excommunicated then, cool cool. Wynonna realises that the Magistrate, Cleo, is not all that she appears to be. She acted like she knew Wynonna, but she isn’t a revenant. What, or who, the hell is the Magistrate! We already know she appeared in town just after Wynonna went missing and took over the place. Does anyone know anything to unshape a shapeshifter? Just curious!
Nicole is busy preparing for war while harshing on Rachel’s Kombucha habit, which it seems the people-eater did not like. The people eater who smells like blue cheesy boy feet. See where this is going? Nope? Well, let Nicole show you some hard evidence in the form of a Hawaiian shirt that she found in a trap. Who else wears Hawaiian shirts? Nicole knows teacher, why don’t you ask her! It’s Nedley’s shirt! Nicole believes the people-eater ate Nedley, but Doc has another hypothesis, what if the people-eater is Randy Nedley! DUN DUN DUN! So much to unpack there!
The Magistrate has found her way to a giant snowbank and pushes Wynonna down after commenting about Wynonna not keeping her word. Who the hell is Cleo! Is she Eve or someone else! Whoever she is, she hasn’t learned how to hogtie with a rope yet and has to resort to using zip ties for the job and trusses Wynonna up. She even stabs her in the ass to make sure she screams to draw the people-eater in before heading up to her car to watch the show. The show is interrupted though with the arrival of Waverly and the Magistrate taking a short trip down the snowbank. She doesn’t stay there for long though and Waverly knocks her out before she can pull out a weapon. She doesn’t seem to have a gun in her hand though, it’s just the bag she had in Shorty’s. Maybe there’s something in there? Before Waverly can take out the people-eater, Nicole and Doc show up, rope and Super Skooshers in tow to de-crabify Nedley.
Cue the slow-mo! I do love a good fight montage with an 80’s power ballad backing track. Doc clearly isn’t set for the rodeo circuit, but teamwork makes the dream work! They eventually pull the people-eater down, with Wynonna laughing in the background calling them idiots, to allow Nicole to spray him with what I can only assume is Rachel’s Kombucha. It really does have good microbes! The one thing it does not do though is to make clothes reappear with all three shocked to see a very naked Randy Nedley laying underneath them in the snow with a rope around him. He though seems to be even more surprised to see them and can’t remember what has happened in the last 18 months (three weeks and four days). Wynonna calls him a survivor, and we get one of the all-important ‘Fuck Yeah’s that we all fought for!
Wynonna, finally free from being tied up, fires a shirt from the T-shirt Cannon over to Nedley and whacks him right in the face. Nicole helps him up but she is freezing again. Someone just give Nicole a HUG!! Doc wanders off to do whatever the hell it is that he does, leaving the others to head into town for the Nedley Family Reunion we have all been waiting for, pantsless and all!
It takes a quick turn though from celebration to apologies from Chrissy who needed her friend Waverly and her sister who weren’t there, and Nicole who was busy keeping everything else safe while dealing with survivors guilt, abandonment issues and a whole load more. Nedley, wanting a proper reunion with his adopted daughter, tries to speak with Nicole who brushes him off and tells him to get Chrissy out of Purgatory to safety before things go south again.
Doc cannot seem to stay away from the Glory Hole and turns up with the bottle of Whiskey that he ‘procured’ from the back of the truck, trying to get in good with Amon by trying to wrangle an arrangement out of him which would see Doc getting a ‘job’ and being paid security for giving Amon back his own goods while making sure Purgatory remains a wet town. Amon can’t let him go away without declaring that Doc smells like heaven. Will these two kiss at some point? WHO KNOWS!
The Homestead is nice and quiet on this night, unlike the one before with the stairs, and before anyone can say it, yes Wayhaught made it to the bed this time (even though the stairs were entirely appropriate for that WLW sex scene last episode). Nicole is startled though by a loud bang, which is just Wynonna looking for snacks, but it sets off Nicole’s PTSD as she’s been alone for so long that everything from now on is going to be her having to relearn what it is like to be around the ones she loves again. She can’t stay in the bed though discussing what has happened to her while Waverly was gone, she has to get up and check the traps, this time with Waverly going with her. This scene gives a new spin to ‘Always’ and if I ever use that word like this, please take it to mean from this scene and not from that Snape scene in Harry Potter. This is infinitely better!
It is time to say goodbye to Chrissy Nedley for this episode at least. I hope she comes back again for another episode. She has no return date to the triangle and this requires a supervisor. A supervisor in the form of Jeremy wearing a BBD jacket over a shirt and tie! Chrissy tells him that ‘they’re back!’ Before driving off into the distance. I cannot wait to see more of Jeremy! There has been a lack of Varun this season so far and I miss him!
It is time to go back to the Homestead once more with Wynonna giving up her bed to Rachel saying that she will move out to the barn. The two are so good together! Pretty much any pairing in this show works well as everyone just has really great chemistry! After a little heart to heart about why Rachel left Monument, which it seems was so she and Nicole could look after each other (cries to infinity) Rachel reveals Nicole was alone for a really long time. Just how long? And when did Rachel show up? Someone just give Nicole a really big hug and maybe a therapist!
Moving out to the barn is a quick task, with Wynonna taking only a basket with some clothes including her leather pants, but she doesn’t get to stay there long with three men appearing out of nowhere and placing a black sack over her head.
Let’s talk about this episode as a whole for a few minutes. I think we all know by now who directed and who wrote this episode. One Melanie Scrofano and one Shelley Scarrow! This was such an epic episode and reminded me so much of Season One of Wynonna Earp. It was fast-paced, had its monster of the week (well then it was revenant of the week). It was funny, it was clever, and it had the throwback to the 2005 Chilli Cook-off! (that one as far as we know was not for freedom) A Huge Kudos to Melanie Scrofano on her directorial debut! It was such a great episode with so many great shots and choices. The writing from Shelley was top notch as well!
This week has been much calmer, what with having the day off for the Earp Hangover and to be able to write this recap and not publish it till nearly midnight like last week, something which will continue for the first half of this season. Until next week Earpers!
-Written by Christine