TV

“Wynonna Earp” Episode 404 Recap: The Haunting of the Arp Clan.

Previously on Wynonna Earp:

-Wynonna is arrested for the murder of Randy Nedley
-Chilli Cook Off…FOR FREEDOM!
-Doc meets a new friend – Amon (KISS KISS KISS)
-Kombucha works for all things, like hydration and debarnacalisation.

Onwards and upwards my good Earpers!

We kick off with a hooded Wynonna, who is still in her Jim jams, being ‘escorted’ into a building and then into an interrogation like room to a blinding bright light and someone who has come straight from their kids PTA meeting a la Emily Gilmore style. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her wear those plaid-esque cropped jackets before which appear to only have one button. Anyway, she is wearing a convention pass with ‘BB’ on it. Yup! Black Badge is back. Does anyone miss Lucado? For some reason, they handcuffed Wynonna to the chair, but Naomi Hycha as we learn (who is way to chipper and innocent to be BBD) attempts to uncuff her before calling our Wynonna Earp, Agent Arp. Yes, that is not a typo. Before Wynonna can really get into it, Jeremy bursts into the room. Our Wynonna has really come a long way from Season One as she runs around and hugs our resident science nerd (who apparently hasn’t been skipping arm day at the gym). BBD is back to fight demons again, it seems, and need every agent in on it, including Employee of the Month Agent Arp.

Cue the creepy music of one of those piles of rocks that you see all around Toronto and have no clue how someone got them to stay like that because gravity (at least this time they are all flat ones) with a picture of Wynonna on top and a hand being sliced open for blood to drip on to it. A rustling chain connected to the foot of some horrible creature which shrieks like a Nazgul snaps and it runs away. Not ominous at all…right?

Who doesn’t like domesticated Wayhaught? We love it! Waverly has made a PowerPoint (or Keynote) presentation in order for everyone to start filling in the blanks about who knows what. Such a perfect use for a PowerPoint and not the ones I had to make for High School (which were always bad and group ones were even worse with us trying to pull a Wynonna and add in other words that were not appropriate for a Higher Drama presentation on the play Antigone). Waverly even has colour coordinated notebooks and pens for everyone. This level of preparation is something to aspire to. No-one bar Nicole has turned up, leading to a discussion over having Tacos for dinner before Rachel interrupts them and leaves after promising to look out for a sword-gun. What’s Wayhaught to do when they have the house to themselves with no Wynonna in sight apart from to start christening every room. They already have the stairs covered, next on the list is the kitchen!

Happy and Domesticated Wayhaught is all I want in life.

Do all meetings in BBD happen in an interrogation room? Maybe they need to up their budget to build a boardroom. They somehow got coffee and Chinese food (I guess that’s why I have a craving for Chinese food tonight) in there at some crazy time in the morning. Seems like BBD is less of the extermination type and more like the scientists in Divergent who just want to use it as a science experiment to find out more about demons. Hycha doesn’t seem qualified to run a fish fry, never mind an anti-demon secret government agency, but she is perky and seems to see the upside in every situation. Maybe we’ll keep her around for a bit. Jeremy decides that a tour of the new facilities are in order, but not before Wynonna finds a creepy rock with a ‘C’ carved in it in her Jim jam pockets and thinks it is a BBD tracking device.

My face when I have to watch a TV show with no Queers in it.

Welcome to the Glory Hole. It is slightly less grand on the outside, but the front doorway has been painted purple. The only thing it is missing is some big arrow pointing down to it. Doc it seems is still determined on his new venture as a procurer of libations from trucks for Amon. Amon and Doc just have such great chemistry, even when Doc is standing up for Wynonna in saying that she is ‘no ones but her own’. Amon does have some top-shelf blends though and asks for his bartender to pour Doc a shot of Bloody Mary, or was that Bloody Joanne? Whoever it was, Doc sure likes his drink before he heads off to procure more alcohol for his new employer.

This Bisexual Lighting is here for a reason thats totally unrelated…right?

One of the security guards at BBD though seems super excited at Wynonna’s return and he just can’t keep his head. Literally. Creepy chained up dude appears while he is looking at Wynonna’s surveillance rock and decides to behead him while he is smoking. They do say smoking kills!

Rachel is off ransacking the town for items which I’m guessing she can sell on with a new fellow. A fellow which she trades a pocketknife or something for who gives her a tan hide jacket vest with fur on the inside. Call back to the Valdez in the comics! So does this mean that Rachel will end up being inhabited by the spirit of ‘The Valdez’ from the story she was telling Nicole in the zombie garden basement? New boy Billy leans in for a kiss and Rachel is about as great at flirting as I am and she pulls out a hubcap to deflect him.

Rachel and Billy sitting in a…diner after diving for mugs and then handing over a tan fleece vest thats probably not at all off a dead body…right?

While telling Wynonna about all the great things that the new office has, like walls and windows and all the other basic necessities of a secret government agency, he pulls her off to the side into a little nook to avoid the security cameras to discuss super-secret family business AKA peacemaker and how they need her to kill all the big bad monsters taking over Purgatory. Before Wynonna can explain about what happened to Peacemaker, Naomi appears with a fabric flower on her jacket and all, and interrupts the pair offering a ‘fish bump’.

Rachel and Billy must think that walking on the road is easier than on the side (which yes it is because all the snow is compacted and Purgatory either gets way too much snow for snowploughs or BBD aren’t letting anyone in to clear the roads). Rachel keeps fishing for an invitation to Billy’s place who turns her down at every turn saying that they need some kind of reason for her being there that isn’t just for a casual friendly hang. After they part ways, one of the stone piles appears in the middle of the road, right where Rachel walks past and doesn’t see it.

After christening the kitchen, Waverly and Nicole have ended up on the floor covered in a very nice sheet of some kind. Waverly tries to bring the conversation back to where it was before they got ‘distracted’ only for Nicole to say a line which shows that she is definitely not as OK as she is pretending to be. Seriously. She is kind of going over the top for Waverly in showing up early, being extra attentive and what not to try and show that she is ok, but she really is not. She feels like she has let everyone down, both in not getting them back quick enough and for not finding Peacemaker, and she also feels lost. She lost the job that gave her purpose (and yes I am really enjoying seeing Nicole out of uniform this season). Waverly tries to make Nicole feel better, but Nicole doesn’t think that she needs a presentation showing her all of the amazing things about her. Waverly tries another tactic, the proposal, but that just makes Nicole distract her again and not give her an answer. Too caught up in each other, they don’t hear the door opening with Rachel coming home to ask them if Peacemaker, the sword-gun, would maybe possibly be in a junkyard where her friend who is a boy, but definitely not a boyfriend, maybe possibly lives.

Stairs…Check! Kitchen…Check! Where next? The Living Room?

Wynonna is getting all up in the business end of BBD’s gun locker when Jeremy gives her a rather special looking ray gun type which can turn anything into guacamole. I would like to know more about the specifics of how this would happen. Like does it just smoosh someone down? Does it liquefy them? Who did Jeremy test this on to know that is what this gun does? Wynonna though has a super cool armoury montage of her suiting up and pulling the gun out of the case which said ‘TRX’ beside the gun.

Now ready to go out on her first mission with the new BBD, Jeremy dashes her hopes and dreams by telling her she is the muscle needed to get supplies into Purgatory in order to keep their cover with BBD. They don’t like anything supernatural. Bit of a big issue there for a secret government agency who historically have hunted and created the supernatural.

Time for a super cool road trip to the Magpie Ranch, aka the junkyard where Rachels friend who is a boy who definitely did not want her to visit lives. Rachel runs off, probably to find Billy, but Waverly just thinks its because she doesn’t want to be seen with her ‘sexy gay aunts’ (which is something I will need on a t-shirt in case I ever have to pick my niece up from school which is also my old school). With no one around, Waverly starts to look around only for the creepy chained up guy to appear on our screen for a great jump scare moment.

Well, he is no Bent Neck Lady but this jump scare still almost got me.

You would think that the creepy Riff Raff creature would be the thing to scare Waverly, but no. It is actually Nicole shouting for her from all of 10 feet away because the Ranch is very weird. When a woman appears, Nicole takes a protective stance saying no-one is touching anything they shouldn’t be. All Waverly wants is to look at the things for sale to see if Peacemaker is amongst them.

Wynonna is doing some defending of her own. For someone who used to say ‘don’t get off the bus’, she sure does love Purgatory and loves defending it to people who call it a shit hole. I mean I get that. My town is a shit hole, but if anyone from outside of it calls it a shithole I go all Wynonna on them. Jeremy though wants her to be in the passenger seat looking out for the demons rather than driving. With a warning to never press the red button, Wynonna loads up and in true Wynonna fashion pretends to press the red button. Seriously though Jeremy, if you don’t want people to press a red button, maybe don’t put a red button on the guaca-scuse me machine?

Back at the Ranch, Waverly and Nicole are on the lookout for the sword-gun with Nicole covering it up saying ‘FOR THE HONOR OF GREYSKULL!’ Nah, she really just says she is looking for a sword to go as She-Ra for Halloween which 1, I need that and 2, will Waverly be in her Sara Lance cosplay or be dressed as Catra? (Do I need to write another fic where two of our fave characters dress up as Adora and Catra for Halloween now? Maybe?) Waverly goes off to take a call from Wynonna leaving Nicole alone in the room with the woman, Margo as we learn, who Nicole clearly knows. Is this from her days as Sheriff or something else? Well, we don’t have to wait for too long as Margo, after teasing Nicole about rings, tells Nicole that payment is due. Payment for what?

Outside taking her call from Wynonna, Waverly is sent a text with the symbol from the creepy surveillance rock that keeps following Wynonna around. This rock is the geological form of Bulshars Ring from last season that seems to follow Nicole and Waverly around everywhere. Waverly doesn’t recognise it at first glance, but as she is walking back into the building with Nicole and Margo, we see it burnt into a piece of wood behind Waverly. Holy Pyrography!

Wynonna, still in the truck, is left alone by the driver after they run over some nail tracks and the rear door is thrown open. She again defends the ‘Purgatorians’ to the driver, even after they tried to hang her for non-murder in the last episode. Powering up Antoni, she goes around the back to find a pistol being pointed at her by a figure displaying the correct way to wear a mask in these Covid times. Yes, Doc Holliday is robbin’ this here stagecoach!

Doc Holliday, the perfect spokesman for the next infomercial on how to wear your face mask correctly during these Covid times.

Rachel, after finally finding Billy, super kinda reveals that she has a crush on Billy by way of displaying those awkward teen flirting skills. Billy though tells her to leave and tells her she can’t say those things around the ranch. Rachel then flees to find Nicole and Waverly, asking them to leave immediately. Nicole gets to be all Mommy again.

Wynonna and Doc are having a Purgatory Stand-Off at the back of the truck arguing over Wynonna working for BBD. They get to the real issue real quick though, Doc is all butthurt over Wynonna no longer having Peacemaker. I mean she may not have a magical gun-sword anymore, but she does have a pretty hefty gun that turns things into one of the best nacho toppings around so I think she is pretty covered in that department. Wynonna, wanting to finish her job, handcuffs herself to the crate of Whiskey. It is the ultimate attack though as the sexual tension in the back of the truck can be cut with a knife.

Billy enters his into the main home section of the Magpie Ranch and Margo is whittling what appears to be a stake talking about how Billy brought Earps on to the land. She even goes as far as threatening to Reap Smalldez, which No Thank you, Mam! No one messes with the Earps!

Night has drawn in bringing yet another rock to Wynonna’s pocket. She tries to pray it away but it seems Riff Raff has his own ideas and he drags his feet across the roof of the truck. The radio goes on and suddenly Riff Raff pokes his head in the back, the music suddenly disappearing for the Nazgul shriek again.

If a creepy rock was following me around I would probably ditch the jacket and run away.

Wynonna, scared shitless enough to need Arby’s diaper, flees. Maybe he’s born with it, maybe its centuries of death and decay, but Wynonna needs to get out of there and quick. She is still stuck to the crate though, but at least the monster is helpful enough to snap the plastic strapping on the crate. Those are some pretty sharp claws because trust me, trying to get that stuff off crates of paper is tough work! He puts those claws to good use again by being less than helpful this time and he slices through Antoni a la Jack of Knives style. No weapon, and no Mr ‘I am a weapon’, Wynonna hightails it out of there.

Rachel is busy admiring herself in Wynonnas leather jacket in the barn when Billy pays her a visit. I was going to say ‘Well at least we know now that he isn’t a Revenant’, but Wynonna allowed revenants back on to the homestead at the end of season 3, and we have yet to see any so I can only assume that they were all sucked up into a big fiery hole (if this is the case, sorry Rosita!). She plays it cool though, calling Billy a dick, which I do have to agree with you Rachel, Billy is a bit of a dick but he is no Champ Hardy. He takes her head and then dumps her, but Rachel finds a rock in the jacket pocket.

Waverly is occupying herself with researching the ‘C’ by the fire in the Homestead when she realises it is a cattle brand. A cattle brand belonging to the Clantons! Hearing a scream, Waverly and Nicole rush out to the barn to save Rachel.

Quick history lesson here. The O.K. Corral was October 26th, 1881. Its the gunfight that gave Wyatt Earp his reputation. On one side were Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday and Wyatt’s two brothers, Morgan and Virgil. On the other side were the two McLaurys, Tom and Frank, Billy Claiborne, and the two Clantons, Billy and Ike. Are we done putting my History degree to good use? I think so!

Wynonna finds her way to a clearing in the woods with six of those rock piles around. She tries to leave, but there is something holding her in. A few unsuccessful attempts later, Riff Raff starts to come out from behind the trees, but Wynonna finally has back up in the form of Doc. Only thing is that Doc cannot see whatever this is that is after Wynonna. Ready to be broken? Wynonna, whimpering and screaming that she doesn’t have her gun (which is probably one of the scariest and heartbreaking things for me, seeing Wynonna like that). Doc gives her a gun and she points his in the right direction before they both pull the trigger. They hit the shoulder and the leg and the monster falls backwards into the snow. But they didn’t get the head, and as all of us who have ever watched a zombie-related show, movie or played a zombie game know, you gotta get that sucker in the head!

Dock kicks over one of the rock piles and the pair flee the clearing chased by Nazgul screams.

I don’t think this one really needs a caption tbh but all the others do so why not.

Nicole is in ‘protect mode’ with a hammer for a weapon, that she must have grabbed quickly on the way there. Waverly though tries to reason with Billy, now Billy Clanton, probably named after his great-great-grandpappy who was killed at the O.K. Corral. He reveals that they are also cursed, but it seems their curse is more in the ‘send scary monsters to kill others while performing back barn dental surgery’ type of curse area as he opens his gift from Rachel and he starts to use the pliers to pull something from his mouth which calls off the monster. That is no tooth that he is pulling, so it must be some kind of extra jaw bone or something, but either way it is creepy as hell. I hope he sterilised those pliers because that will be some nasty infection otherwise!

I know a Mermaid Dentist who would fully be against this type of dental surgery.

He holds up whatever thing it was he pulled out from his mouth with the rock and calls out to the monster, calling him off from his chase of what he believes is Rachel, but is really of Wynonna, exchanging his soul in the process. His eye, as well as the general area where he pulled the thing from his mouth, start to be taken over by black veins running under his skin before falling backwards. The monster as well falls back and starts to retreat, relieving Wynonna to Doc’s care. Rachel, who was previously being held back by Nicole, breaks free and runs to Billy, who reveals that she is safe. Waverly asks how many there are in the Clanton clan, to which Billy reveals there are currently four of them, three kids named Billy, Holt and Cleo, and Mam aka Margo. Wait, Holt and Cleo? Surely you all recognise those names from the last episode as Sheriff Not Haught and The Magistrate! Billy doesn’t wait around for too much longer though and he leaves with a bloody kiss to Rachel’s cheek. Rachel instantly seeks solace from Nicole, and Waverly joins in. Its time for Rachel to get a big group hug from her Sexy Gay Aunts.

Who doesn’t want a group hug from their sexy gay aunts?

Putting her rock display on the kitchen table, the group discuss their plan of action now that they know that their greatest enemies are in Purgatory. Rachel wants to do something to make all the Clantons pay for what they made Billy do, but the rest of the team are not so ‘gung ho’ as she is, resulting Wynonna in telling her that she is only 17, she doesn’t get to be a part of this. After Rachel storms off to not lay siege to the castle, Wynonna and the rest come up with a plan to get Jeremy back.

Billy’s stunt has not pulled him any favours with Mamma Clanton though, as he is now the one who is chained up outside with the reaper being called over to him, monster drool and everything and being told that he will be the one to kill Rachel. One of the creepiest things for me in the episode is actually this. Show me gore, show me beheadings, make me scared shitless for our crazy chick with a gun, but I’m always going to ‘nope’ when it comes to drool. Margo leaves Billy prone and screaming with huge globules of spit on their way down to Billy and heads into the house to find her other two children, Not-Haught and Cleo.

Why are all the scariest people in this show always the people that we could find living down the street from us and not the big monster in makeup? Holt stands up for his baby brother while Cleo tries to talk Margo down, saying that he can be taught to respect the traditions of his family, but Margo just wants a nice meal with her kids it seems. They go to say grace, or their form of it anyway, when Margo takes Cleo’s bandaged hand and presses down into a wound that is clearly visible from a fresh bloodstain, clearly enjoying it. It seems it was Cleo who sliced her hand open over the picture of Wynonna at the beginning of the episode and sent their ‘Uncle Ike’ after her. Margo decides a lesson is in order to teach her children who the Clanton Heir is, which all I have to say is, what is it with the older generations of Heirs and being abusive towards their kids? That is now Ward and Margo. She lessens her grip and they sit down to a nice family meal after praying to their ancestors saying that they will get vengeance.

Totally just a regular old family dinner while the youngest is outside being turned into a reaper.

Wynonna has a mission of her own and barges into an interrogation room to Hycha and Jeremy planning over a map. She reveals herself to be ‘Wynonna Fucking Earp’, (not Arp) and the best demon hunter BBD ever did see and demands her science nerd back. She needs her people to take back her offices and to hunt demons. Fuck yeah!

Nicole isn’t done with Margo, and it doesn’t seem like Margo is done with her either. Nicole says she is returning it and puts a jar on the table saying that Doc and Waverly managed to get themselves out of the garden, not Margo. Laughing it off, Margo opens a jar with what appears to be hair and bones inside and what looks like moths fly out and into Nicole’s mouth. I’m good with spiders, I’m good with any other bug, but bring a moth into the equation and I am out.

WDYDN!

What has Nicole done?! She has clearly made a deal with the devil to get Waverly back, much in the same way that Waverly did in season 2 after Widdocedes bit Nicole and poisoned her. This one though seems to have more serious rammifications though. We all know that Nicole is not OK, and we know that we will get to see a darker side of Nicole this season (which in all honesty probably just puts her at morally grey). I am excited yet scared for next week to see what Nicole’s deal means for Waverly, and indeed for everyone.

-Written by Christine

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