Previously on Wynonna Earp:
-Bunny Loblaw moved to Saphic City
-Everyone fell in love with Waverly
-Wynonna only wanted Amon
-Cleo revealed that the deal with Nicole was to get Waverly out of the garden in exchange for Doc
All caught up? Good! Let’s go!
We open with Wynonna naked and just waking up to discover that she is, in fact, still in The Glory Hole after her night with Amon. Well, naked for everything except for her boots. Thankfully there is a conveniently placed drinks tray to the side for her to cover up with the demons roaming the bar and setting up a table with poker chips and some weird tarot looking cards. Skulls decorate the stage so Amon was either too busy decorating to wake up with our dear Wynonna or he had all his minions decorate around them, which is creepy AF and also Wynonna must be a REALLY deep sleeper to sleep through a pumpkin doorway being erected right behind her.
No time for niceties though for the morning after with Amon not even letting Wynonna find her clothes, leaving her to grab one of the curtains straight from a Janelle Monae music video and a feather boa to cover up before he ushers her off the stage, but not after bringing up our Vampire Baby Daddy and unveiling a murder roulette wheel on the stage which starts moving on its own.
BBD are out in force for Halloween, picking a rather lovely pumpkin patch with a decidedly not scary scarecrow who is dressed in a Michael Jackson cosplay as the area for their sweep. Except the scarecrow really does have a brain in this story and it is one prone to homicidal tendencies that I am sure Ava Sharpe would have a field day with on her ‘Stabcast’ podcast. Really she’d just love Purgatory in general. Just saying! Anyway, our scarecrow finds the perfect weapon in the form of a fork and runs towards the BBD agents who are firing at him but not stopping him, creepy giggles and all to impale one of the agents several times without getting any blood on his outfit at all! I tip my snapback to you sir because that dry cleaning bill would be expensive and awkward as anything to explain to the cleaner.
Who doesn’t love decorating for Halloween? Waverly definitely seems to love it and has decked the Homestead out in every single item she could find at the Halloween store in town. Ward Earp is even more of a bastard than we all thought and never let them celebrate Halloween. It tracks with how much of a douche we all know Ward Earp to be. Waverly tells Nicole who has joined her that she needs to make sure Wynonna knows that nothing between them will change, even with her getting married. Nicole Monstermashing and dancing in an open rainbow cuffed shirt is potentially one of the gayest things I’ve seen and I really need to know where that shirt is from for all the reasons! But instead of getting the Halloween playlist on in the Homestead, Nicole is destined for Wedding Dress shopping with Rachel in the Big City (though Waverly and I are not opposed to the khaki and stetson look) while Waverly heads on down to BBD with pants for Wynonna.
With pink curtains and a feather boa belt tie, Wynonna is pacing back and forth in BBD when Jeremy walks into headquarters looking is BBD best with no Halloween costume in sight. Waverly though comes in looking like the cutest little ladybug, wings and all, just in time to receive their latest mission. Seems Rotten Jack has been terrorising Purgatory for the past few years on Halloween. Wynonna is all for turning him into a pie, but BBD wants him alive for some reason. Torture? Study? Who knows but it isn’t to make him into a pumpkin spiced latte. Waverly has a whole day of sister fun planned which doesn’t include taking out a walking talking pumpkin. Jeremy gives them three hours, apple watches, and instructions on how to find an extractor before heading out to an appointment.
Waverly does not hold back in the costume department and hands Wynonna a Britney Spears costume to change into before heading out before she can say ‘Oops! I did it (aka slept with a demon) again’.
Doc is not one to be left out of the Halloween festivities and has dressed up in an amazing rendition of Freddy Mercury for a game of cards and shots of blood. Amon tries to rope Doc into his little game of ‘Murder Roulette’ by betting on who Rotten Jack’s target will be. He has even moved to streaming the betting online! Doc doesn’t want to partake after seeing the angel card, but Amon being, well Amon, can’t leave well enough alone and goads Doc with Wynonna’s underwear. I mean, how much more of a shitbag can you get Amon? Trying to keep that as a trophy? It does strike a nerve though and Doc finally gets out from under Amon’s thumb and quits as being his source of fine liquours.
The murder wheel finally stops on a victim, the mother, and Rotten Jack heads off for some trick or treating in the daylight at a poor woman’s house who only wanted to bake her brownies. Jack had something else in mind for dessert though and skewers her on the fork. I just feel bad for those poor brownies now which are going to burn to a crisp and be terrible!
Wynonna and Waverly are out on their not as planned Earp Sister Day traipsing through knee height weeds in an abandoned play park with a trailer at the edge of the triangle only to discuss childhood trauma and how things aren’t going to change when Waverly gets married (seriously though they do but in good ways). Wynonna wants to focus on the mission and not where her leather pants may or may not be and how Waverly has everything so perfect while her lover has left her alone on the dance floor. The trailer awaits, and so does Casey who it seems is the extractor they are looking for!
BBD has moved out of the big warehouse-like building from season 2 and is now sitting on a small lake on stilts. Jeremy runs into the mysterious Albert who it seems is more than a bit of a douche and is trying to stop Jeremy from his meeting. Jeremy, in the last 18 months, has found his big boy boots and stamps them down pretty hard on Albert saying ‘It’s my meeting and I’ll go if I want to!’ The meeting in question? A BBD survivors group discussing their trauma with demons. Jeremy, making a cup of coffee, is interrupted from his musings by a tall man in a pumpkin tie. Handing it off to him, they head off to talk by a window. It sounds like Robin, but doesn’t seem or look like him AT ALL!
Casey, fishing vest and all, is on the lookout with his binoculars for BBD, but BBD is in front of him and his huge can of spaghetti loops is right beside him. Well, it’s not spaghetti loops, its some kind of light can which blinds the Earps giving him just enough time to grab a gas mask and some rope and head off into some blue fog and disappearing.
Everything inside of the fog is definitely a little weird. They cant see where Casey is and they start to forget things like where they came in and who they even are! This is no surprise Rihanna Concert.
Trying to piece things together, they hear a song off in the distance. Cue Casey doing a ‘Say Anything’ moment to lure them back to him. Dropping the gun, Waverly clocks him in the face only for Casey to tell them that he sold them some weed and they are tripping heavily on it and that they should just go home and raid the snack cupboard. Problem is that they don’t even know where home is until he points it out on the map that they used to get there in the first place and they head off without picking up Peacemaker.
The other two residents of the Homestead are still out shopping but not without Nicole leaving out one of her old uniforms, which Waverly promptly puts on, while Wynonna sources some mail and finds the names, Wynonna Earp and Waverly Earp. Somehow though they get the names round the wrong way leading to possibly one of the best body swap episodes I have ever seen! Wynonna becomes a Shortys waitress whereas Waverly becomes The Law and they realise that Shorty’s must have a Halloween party going on.
Heading over there, they find that the bar is empty with only one Doc Holliday dressed in his Bohemian Rhapsody finest. He isn’t in the mood for their weird body swap going on with no memories and before he can get to the bottom of it, Amon’s henchmen pop in for a quick hello and to get the booze he has been smuggling, but Wynonna decides to pull on the demon’s tail, not realising that demons and vampires are real and not just costumes for Halloween. Grabbing some cocktail umbrellas for some excellent protection, Doc strong arms and punches the demon out of his boots into the roof before the pair run out.
Doc chases after with his microphone in hand running past the dumpster that the two have taken refuge in. The watches interrupt with a skull emoji and Rotten Jack leaves his latest victim dead while showing off some creepy killer moves. For a guy who doesn’t talk, this may be one of the creepiest villains yet!
The minions run back to Amon with their tails between their legs, only for him to prepare a spiked baseball bat ready to make a home run with their heads. He is stopped though before he can make it with one demon spilling the beans that the Earp sisters were there without Peacemaker and without their memories being there. Amon is beyond excited (like his team won the Superbowl and all his Christmases came at once excited) and heads out to see for himself.
After their support group meeting, Jeremy and Robin stay behind for a heart to heart with Robin saying that he wears a mask every day before they are interrupted by a call from Doc explaining that the Earps have lost themselves. Jeremy sends Doc off on an errand while he tries to make excuses to Robin for having to leave early, only to be stopped by a lockdown.
The dumpster seems clear enough to leave, and Wynonna and Waverly eagerly jump down from it to be found by Amon in his red velvet blazer jacket and his beat-up Toyota Corolla to drag them off to The Glory Hole for a ‘party’. While discussing Wynonna’s taste in men Amon pulls out a black lacy thong with a rhinestone doughnut on the back. How could they belong to anyone else apart from Bacon Doughnut? They head off into the sunset, and it is probably a good thing that they did too as Rotten Jack has caught their scent.
Back at BBD, Albert is trying once again to get Jeremy to follow orders, but he doesn’t bank on Jeremy being sneaky AF. He makes Albert a coffee as a gesture of goodwill, which seems to calm him down before he starts going into anaphylactic shock over drinking anything that is not pure cows milk. Jeremy, that sneaky bastard, put in a mix of Soy and Almond milk to get the lockdown lifted so that he could get out to help Waverly and Wynonna, leaving Robin to administer the Epi-Pen in his wake.
Wynonna and Waverly are starting to remember who they are with Amon taking them into Mercedes costume closet to dress them all up for what they believe is the Halloween party. Amon does a line of something on a mirror with the rolled-up $1 bill while the sisters run off to change, leaving him to his soliloquising.
Doc’s errand has led him to Casey to procure the extractor for taking out Rotten Jack, but Casey is doing less extracting and more writing apologies to Wynonna and Waverly for sending them into the fog. Casey though doesn’t see himself as the hero, just as a fuck up. Doc, bringing out the big guns, manages to talk him round like he did with Cleo in the previous episode. Doc should open up a supernatural therapists office in Purgatory. He would probably be amazing at bolstering the population and making them all work together. He speaks of love and how he does not want to lose his greatest love of all, The Earp Sisters. I feel this so hard. I am also not ready to lose The Earp Sisters, or Nicole, or Jeremy, or Doc himself. It works on Casey though and he hands over Peacemaker before heading off with Doc to be the hero.
Time for the weirdest game of ‘The Price is Right’ with our host Amon. With all of two tech guys on stand by it is less party-central than what one might imagine, but an auction is called for. What is the auction for you ask? Well, the highest bidder gets to kill Wynonna and Waverly.
Tied up to a stripper pole is not how anyone would want to spend Halloween, well not while dressed as Super Wynonna and Butterfly Angel. The bidding starts to become more intense with someone appearing with a lobster claw for a hand, $50,000 to burn and a weird groin gesture. He pulls out a gun and places it to the neck of both Wynonna and Waverly but all that’s shot out is a dart restoring their minds. A Scooby doo mask reveal places one Jeremy Chetri behind the mask but it may be too little too late as the Murder Wheel spins of its own accord again and lands on The Angel.
Sweeping the floor with Kippy, Rotten Jack decided to use his invitation to the party after all and he makes his grand entrance to a fleeing Amon trying to save his arse. Waverly uses herself as bait to give Wynonna her opening to smash the pumpkin head of Rotten Jack. It is all over quickly with Casey stepping up to be the hero and taking out the candle in his head and Waverly snuffing out the light. Rotten jack falls flat on his face and pumpkin innards spill across the floor.
Wynonna brings the soup to BBD to hand off to Albert, who is busy attaching new signs to the milk jugs to even know what to do with it. Jeremy takes over while he runs off and explains that the fog scrambles peoples brains and makes then forget who they are. It is reversible in small doses, but in large doses, well it doesn’t end as well. Robin is their next stop in their tour but he doesn’t remember Wynonna and isn’t even in love with Jeremy. He has a different boyfriend and Halloween date night plans to attend to.
Jeremy answers all. When they were taken, they were split from Nicole and Jeremy asked Robin to help and find Wynonna. He jumped from the truck they were in and jumped right into the fog. Weeks later he didn’t have a face anymore. Not quite the happy story we were hoping for Jetri. Jeremy though is still so in love with Robin, that much is clear, and he slips small amounts of the serum into his coffee each week before handing it off to Robin to try and get his memories back. That isn’t the only thing that they need to worry about though because the fog is spreading.
Waverly gets the Earp sister time she has been craving with a small fire and s’mores outside the Homestead. At least Wynonna was able to get back her leather pants and jacket though! Their heart to heart is cut short before too many tears could fall from my face by Nicole Haught appearing in her full Purgatory’s Finest, stetson and all a la season one. A few quick kisses later and Waverly and Nicole head off into the Homestead leaving Wynonna alone with her campfire and marshmallows and her thoughts.
Doc’s Halloween night is a little more cloak, dagger and fire though. After capturing Amon, he brings his minions together in an area not so unlike the area Bobo Del Ray brought him to deal with Levi. Covering for Waverly and persuading the demons that Amon rigged the ‘game’ by dressing Waverly up as an angel before locking them all inside the bar while he cowered, he leaves Amon to his minions to deal with.
And that is it for this creeptacular episode! Next week promises to bring trivia night in Shortys and probably a lot more creep.
-Written by Christine